I miss you so much, Rainbow.
eje224
June 30th
newGood morning, 23.
On the calendar, you're already here, even though TECHNICALLY, you don't start until 6:25 tonight. I guess that means I'm spending today in the weird 'end of 22/start of 23' limbo, the same one that happens every year during the daytime hours.
I'm hoping you're just a little bit better than 22. I'm hoping that having a truly adult age to attach to the question, "how old are you?" (even if I'll ALWAYS act like I'm 7), some adult things will happen. Maybe I'll be comfortable being Emily, whoever she is, and relax a little bit. Maybe I'll keep my promise to not stay in every weekend. Maybe I'll finally get the nerve to meet a guy and pursue something with it. Maybe I'll believe I'm right sometimes, and not back down. Maybe I'll really get to make a difference in somebody's life. There are a lot of maybes floating around right now; I think that's a good thing.
So....
Welcome.
the song I WANTED to put here, "Jessie's Song (Optimistic Story)" isn't a track listing, but you can imagine...
http://elanaarian.com/listen.html
On the calendar, you're already here, even though TECHNICALLY, you don't start until 6:25 tonight. I guess that means I'm spending today in the weird 'end of 22/start of 23' limbo, the same one that happens every year during the daytime hours.
I'm hoping you're just a little bit better than 22. I'm hoping that having a truly adult age to attach to the question, "how old are you?" (even if I'll ALWAYS act like I'm 7), some adult things will happen. Maybe I'll be comfortable being Emily, whoever she is, and relax a little bit. Maybe I'll keep my promise to not stay in every weekend. Maybe I'll finally get the nerve to meet a guy and pursue something with it. Maybe I'll believe I'm right sometimes, and not back down. Maybe I'll really get to make a difference in somebody's life. There are a lot of maybes floating around right now; I think that's a good thing.
So....
Welcome.
the song I WANTED to put here, "Jessie's Song (Optimistic Story)" isn't a track listing, but you can imagine...
http://elanaarian.com/listen.html
Oh What a Weekend:
Friday night party at the Vanella's
- Mrs. Vanella, I like everything you do - I like the way you move! - Sean
- Thumper
- Yohe, Chris, Josh, John with the funny shirt(s)
- Jimmy Buffett in the kitchen
- The lights going out...twice...
- Bomb punch chugging contest between Joey and his mom
- 13
- NICOLE
- 43 year old women; Quinny and John. Discuss.
- Rick Rude baseball games.
- 3 bouts of rain and storm, and then...the sprinklers came on.
- Nicole and I told Kathy the hotdog story...
Saturday night block party in Island Park
- Lindsay, Kristina, Nora, Jaimie
- EDWIN. And Edwin remembering the good old days when I called him EdLOSE <3
- Erin not able to call me
- Etienne. Etienne actually GREW. Maybe 5 inches? I think he broke 7 feet a whiiiiiile ago....eep!
- "I've seen Emily more in the last 2 nights than I have in the last 4 years" "6 years, Chris" "Shiiiiiiiiiit"
- "You look really familiar. I know you" - Dan Travers, who I used to live around the corner from. The boy who used to offer me rides - such a nice family. Glad I didn't mess up and call him Sean. I can't believe Sean has been dead for 5 years. I can't believe I didn't go to the memorial while I was so near by. I wish I knew him better; I have never heard a bad word spoken about him.
- Bomb and his cousin, La Bamba.
- Old crushes. For the first time since I was a senior in high school, I was in the same vacinity as Danny K. We took our time to talk to each other (though I talked quite a bit to George, to be shared below), but eventually got there. Joked about how I don't live in WH anymore, had to get to Mass, and how I was turning tricks to get there. I was able to be brave enough that when he said that was a lot of tricks, I told him '2 at the most; I'm just that good'. 5 yaers ago I would NEVER have had the balls to deliver a line like that. Baby steps. He's still really cute, unfortunately. He got heavier (I saw photos) but looked better last night. Couldn't see his eyes in the darkness, but I know they're still gorgeous.
- George: "When we had that class together, we were friends". We were friends? George and I? Hilarious. Also, I called George 'Rob' by accident (actually, I said, 'where IS George' and he said "I AM George". I miss Rob).
- John with the funny shirts (last night's was about squirrels) went to give me a hug and just went and picked me up.
- Getting to put my feet up on George's back.
- Realizing I STILL don't like Mike T., and that it's OKAY that I still think he's a douchebag. I don't have to like everyone, and I really don't like him. He was such a jerk back then, and even though we didn't exchange words, I know he's still the same kid. Hasn't evolved at all. Chestnut's probably the exact same way. I have forgiven everyone else; I mean, I hugged and kissed Yohe, who I know was one of them....but I will never forgive Teich and Chestnut for continuing it. And it feels GOOD to not just forgive them because time has passed.
Friday night party at the Vanella's
- Mrs. Vanella, I like everything you do - I like the way you move! - Sean
- Thumper
- Yohe, Chris, Josh, John with the funny shirt(s)
- Jimmy Buffett in the kitchen
- The lights going out...twice...
- Bomb punch chugging contest between Joey and his mom
- 13
- NICOLE
- 43 year old women; Quinny and John. Discuss.
- Rick Rude baseball games.
- 3 bouts of rain and storm, and then...the sprinklers came on.
- Nicole and I told Kathy the hotdog story...
Saturday night block party in Island Park
- Lindsay, Kristina, Nora, Jaimie
- EDWIN. And Edwin remembering the good old days when I called him EdLOSE <3
- Erin not able to call me
- Etienne. Etienne actually GREW. Maybe 5 inches? I think he broke 7 feet a whiiiiiile ago....eep!
- "I've seen Emily more in the last 2 nights than I have in the last 4 years" "6 years, Chris" "Shiiiiiiiiiit"
- "You look really familiar. I know you" - Dan Travers, who I used to live around the corner from. The boy who used to offer me rides - such a nice family. Glad I didn't mess up and call him Sean. I can't believe Sean has been dead for 5 years. I can't believe I didn't go to the memorial while I was so near by. I wish I knew him better; I have never heard a bad word spoken about him.
- Bomb and his cousin, La Bamba.
- Old crushes. For the first time since I was a senior in high school, I was in the same vacinity as Danny K. We took our time to talk to each other (though I talked quite a bit to George, to be shared below), but eventually got there. Joked about how I don't live in WH anymore, had to get to Mass, and how I was turning tricks to get there. I was able to be brave enough that when he said that was a lot of tricks, I told him '2 at the most; I'm just that good'. 5 yaers ago I would NEVER have had the balls to deliver a line like that. Baby steps. He's still really cute, unfortunately. He got heavier (I saw photos) but looked better last night. Couldn't see his eyes in the darkness, but I know they're still gorgeous.
- George: "When we had that class together, we were friends". We were friends? George and I? Hilarious. Also, I called George 'Rob' by accident (actually, I said, 'where IS George' and he said "I AM George". I miss Rob).
- John with the funny shirts (last night's was about squirrels) went to give me a hug and just went and picked me up.
- Getting to put my feet up on George's back.
- Realizing I STILL don't like Mike T., and that it's OKAY that I still think he's a douchebag. I don't have to like everyone, and I really don't like him. He was such a jerk back then, and even though we didn't exchange words, I know he's still the same kid. Hasn't evolved at all. Chestnut's probably the exact same way. I have forgiven everyone else; I mean, I hugged and kissed Yohe, who I know was one of them....but I will never forgive Teich and Chestnut for continuing it. And it feels GOOD to not just forgive them because time has passed.
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