You guys,

I have been having THE WEIRDEST dreams lately.  Which I guess isn't saying a ton, because I'm prone to having very vivid, detailed dreams, but the last few weeks, it's just been... I can't make connections between the things that happen in my dreams/subconscious and my real life (unlike, let's say, the semi-recent dream I had that they built a sizable Burger King in my tiny town, and I am not a giant BK supporter, but I HAD just eaten lunch with my Eric, who IS 2 days prior...).

Well, last night, I dreamt (dreamed?) I was a marine biologist...I think.  Perhaps a shark expert.  This is slightly related to real life in the sense that I loves me some animals, and I know a boatload about sharks.  But mainly because they terrify me and I am a HUGE believer in 'know your enemy'.  I remember being on the phone with my friend Mike who was teasing me about something (that's realistic ) and trying to update a PowerPoint slideshow as we talked.  The next thing I knew, I was at a giant convention center somewhere on the warm side, and I had these giant pangs of butterfly wings inside my stomach.  Before I went on stage to present my stuff, about 8 people came over to me and were like 'you're gonna NAIL it!  you're the best speaker we know!' and BUSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSST I am not a public speaker!  I get nervous addressing a class of 25 4th graders who all love and adore me! Adults scare me!!!!  Let alone...intellectuals (shudders).

Anywho, I get up there, and I start talking about sharks.  Most specifically, great whites (you know, the BIG BOYS that truly terrify me).  Apparently, my big discussion was on what sharks are aggressive/'mean'.  Now, I'm sure at a real shark conference, the focus would be on how we humans misinterpret natural behaviors as mean/aggressive/bad when in real life, as Quint said in Jaws, "you're in the water...sharks are in the water..." aka invading their territory invites us to be part of their world.  But in my dream, I was apparently presented the task of explaining why sharks are mean.

"Emily, why are sharks so mean?" you're all asking from your chairs?  Well...  it's because they don't sleep.  SERIOUSLY, this is what I got up and said to my dream colleagues in my dream profession.  It IS a fact that sharks cannot sleep for significant periods because if they stop swimming, water doesn't flow over their gills and they'll sink/drown/stop being alive.  I've known that since I was in 7th grade; and if I didn't, Tracy Bonham (yes, the "Mother, Mother" singer that YOUKNOW you loved!) has a song called "Sharks Can't Sleep" to educate yourself with.  BACKTOTHEDREAM, my argument/hypothesis (well, NOT hypothesis anymore because I was there to present my findings on the research I'd apparently done) was that, like humans, not being able to sleep makes us cranky.  Something to the effect of, "...and humans get unreasonable after getting 2-4 hours of sleep one night; can you imagine what it's like to only sleep for 8 second periods every night your entire life?".

Thunderous applause in the dream, if you were wondering ;0).  And I'm sure, getting some from you right now.

In other marine-biology news, anyone else see a commercial for Drew Barrymore starring in a movie about saving some whales?  Because whales are my actual favorite animal, and the commercial keeps making me cry (I think that a big piece of me secretly fears that one/all of the trapped whales will die even though it's pretty implied this is a triumphant story)...

I JUST got home from work now.

Granted, I woke up at 6:40 today instead of left for work at 6:40 today (I am proud to say my car was backing down the driveway by 7:01, though!), but I was just at my place of employment for over 14 hours.  Manned with a banana, a cup of bell pepper, a 1/2 cup of tuna, and a yogurt (which I never actually got around to eating, DAMMIT).

We had a 7pm budget hearing.  It does NOT look good.  But I am BEYOND impressed by my colleagues.  I can't word it, I'm EXHAUSTED, but...wow.  Ben's speech was incredible; I want a copy of it.  And Joanne R. was talking about the value of Beth's position (they are trying to cut our counselor's position from 4 days a week to 2.5) and it was...moving.  I mean, at the end of the meeting, at least the part they kept humoring we public audience members (2 or more hours), the guy leading the meeting was like 'hmm, maybe we can find an extra $10,000 you guys can play with'.  I don't know if it was shot down or if there IS a way to do anything that will only be $10,000 cut, but... it was partially moving towards him, too.

And I really liked standing in solidarity as Megan read our statement about where we the faculty stood.  That was a nice thing to have planned.

Being a teacher is fucking HARD; and almost NONE of that hardness (yup, that's the only word I have right now to describe my thoughts, deal) is from working with the students. 

I HATE this feeling of 'us' versus 'them', especially since I'm on 2 different divisions; administration versus non-admin, general ed versus special ed.

I think it's time to forage for dinner, don't you?

But I can't resist posting:  http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=RxsOVK4syxU  

Last night I went out and bought a bottle of wine to gift my mentor today.  I walked out of the store excited that I hadn't been carded (this entry is being written by a girl who this past summer, at age 26, I was carded at two movies and asked by the person cutting my hair what grade I was in at the local high school IDONOTLOOK16BTW), glad I had finally gotten something for Linda, and ready to go home and enjoy dinner.

It was not until I got home and getting ready to toss the receipt that I realized the kid ringing me up had charged me for the bottle of wine, but not the gift bag it was resting in.

Well, as fate would have it, I needed to go back to the grocery store tonight after the gym.  I felt kind of guilty, however, so I went over to the rack and grabbed another bag before I went to get on line.  As luck would have it, the line I picked to stand in was being manned by a semi-friend of mine, Matt.  I always enjoy seeing Matt when I'm there, and since I had this weird request, I was glad it was someone who already knew I was on the weird side.

Emily:  When I came last night, I wasn't charged for my bag like this.
Matt:  Oh.  Then that makes it free
Emily:  No it doesn't.  Can you please ring this one up with my order and the hold onto it and put it back on the shelf?
Matt:  It really doesn't matter.  But I guess the company I work for would appreciate that.


Now...I know.  It's a giant corporation.  This one-dollar bag isn't going to register anywhere for them.  But the second I realized I'd been given it without paying for it, I felt really guilty, even if not at fault, and wanted to rectify it.  But the way Matt (and 'Dylan', the kid they had bagging) were acting, you'd think I was alone in not feeling like it was okay.  AM I alone?  I don't think the price of the item is the issue even if it is small; the fact is, I saw it on a shelf for a nominal amount, and the expectation was that I would pay that amount to make the item my property.  Would you have gone back to give them what was due?

I forgot how delightful G-Chat can be sometimes.

Spent most of my evening NOT writing an I.E.P. and instead G-chatting with Sam (HI, SAM!), Robyn, and Jake.

How freaking lucky am I to have these long distance conversations?

Also, Goodreads sent me an email telling me I was now friends with Felix.  Bwahahaa, what is this, 2003 all over again?  OF COURSE I'M FRIENDS WITH FELIX! ...I just...didn't know 'Lix read books until a few days ago (thank YOU Steve, Pit, Suzi, and Stacey for having him in common!).